Emotions on standby
by Serenya
Summary: "You're right, and I'm sorry. But I'm not ready for the world to know." Nick was okay with his life – until Jeff showed up. It was time for a change, but would Nick ever be able to deal with his fears? And could he stand the consequences? Niff AU
1. Chapter 1

**This idea just popped up into my head. It's my first try of an AU since all characters are going to Westerville High. I hope you like it, let me know what you think! **

**Obviously I don't own Glee or any songs or characters you recognize.  
**

**The story contents bullying, self-doubt and violence as well as gay relationships. If you can't handle any of that, please skip the story.  
Otherwise... enjoy! :)**

_- Good News? -_

"Duval, hey!" Nick turned around as he heard his name called out through the hallway of Westerville High.

"Satan!", he greeted with a smile all over his face. A pretty, young Latina made his way towards him.

"You know how lucky you are that I love you, right? Otherwise I had to kill you for giving me names like this." She kissed his cheek quickly and intertwined her arm with his before starting walking with him. "Have I already told you the good news?" Nick just tilted his head in a silent question and made her a sign to carry on. She chuckled amused. "Obviously not. Have I ever mentioned that Brit has a cousin?"

"You didn't. But I don't see what's the good news about it."

"That's because you're way to impatient. So, like I said, there's this cousin. _Jeff._" She smiled as if the name caused any good taste on her tongue. "A blonde cutie, really hot stuff."

"You know that you're with Brittany, Santana. Why would you... eww!" Nick frowned in disgust. "If it has anything to do with an inappropriate threesome, I don't wanna know anything about it."

"Shut it, Nick. Thing is, this certain blondie is transferring to our school. In fact, he has an appointment with principal Sawyer today. And, as I wanted to tell you right from the beginning, he is on our team."

"You mean..."

"There is a reason that Brittany's family had taken her outing so easily. It wasn't the first time they'd heard a confession like this." Santana smiled again, but it seemed a bit off this time. Nick squeezed her arm gently. He knew about the problems her own outing had caused in her family. More than one time she'd found herself in front of his door, asking if she could stay for the night. He never refused to let her. Santana was like a sister to him, and he tried to defend her whenever he could. He would never admit that to her, though. He was a bit scared that the girl would hit him just to prove that she could easily defend herself. She was tough, no question, but to Nick, there was nothing wrong with looking out for her.

"So what makes you think that I'm interested in... Jeff?", he asked after a little pause.

Santana flipped out of her thoughts and threw him an evil look. "You're kidding me, right? It's written all over your face that you want a boyfriend."

"Santana!", he pleased, looking around. "Shh. I don't want people to look at me the way they look at Kurt and Blaine."

The girl stopped walking all of a sudden. Nick, who had his arm intertwined with hers still, stumbled and fought to keep in balance. "Don't you dare, Duval. Don't say you're a coward. You always told me to be whoever I want to be, and now you turn out to..."

"You know what most people think when they look at Brittany and you? That it's super hot to see two girls making out. Do you know what most people think when they look at Kurt and Blaine? Or at me and... whoever? That it's disgusting. That we shouldn't exist. It isn't fair, but I didn't make the rules. I don't want to be beaten up. I don't want the weird looks. I don't want people talking about me."

"Screw them!", Santana spat and made a step towards the boy to stab her finger into his chest. "And screw _you,_ Duval. I'll see you in the choir room."

"Santana, wait!", he called after her, but it was useless. Nick sighed deeply. The Latina was furious, without a doubt, and he knew how hard it was to calm her down.

"Bull's-eye!" Another voice cut in, and a smirking Asian clapped Nick on the shoulders. "You just released the beast."

"Have you been eavesdropping?" Nick asked dryly. "You're way to curious for your own good, Wes."

"Oh, that wasn't nice. You can't yell through the whole school and expect nobody to listen." Wes raised a brow as Nick didn't even tried to defend himself. He made the slightly younger boy stop and pulled him around a corner. "Stuff is really going to you, right? What's the deal, Nick? What are you afraid of? It seems like people can't stop liking you. You managed to join Glee club and still be popular, something Finn failed totally."

"Shut up, Wes. That's none of your business."

"My best friend is none of my business?", the Asian repeated frowning. "Come on, Nick. Look, I know Kurt and Blaine are having a tough time, but were doing everything we can to keep them as safe as possible. You know that. And on the other hand, there is Sebastian. Openly bi, and no one tries to get after him, even if he isn't half as likeable as you are."

Nick hissed annoyed and stroked his hair out of his face. "That's because his father is a freaking lawyer, Wes. They know that they're fucked – well, not literally – when they get to close to him. My father is a plumber. Not so impressive, right?"

Wes sighed. "Nick." He put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "A lot of people care about you, you know that. All members of Crescendo none of them will let you down, no matter what you do."

"Not all of them, but the most. You're right Wes, and I'm sorry. But I'm not ready for the world to know. Please, I... It's not that I'm ashamed of who I am, but... I'm scared... I think... Please don't push me. I can't... not right now, at least..."

"Nicky, you're rambling!" Wes shook his shoulder very gently to pull him out of his confusion. Nick looked at him with wide eyes. Wes didn't often call people by a nickname, but when he did, the matter was very important to him. "I would never push you to do something you don't want to do. Neither would Santana, even if she's mad at you right now. You're our friend, Nick. Gosh, the three of us are best friends since preschool. We're blood brothers, don't you remember?"

Nick smiled as the memory hit him. He saw himself, Wes and Santana in a little wood, the girl resting her back against a huge tree. They all were about eight years old, and little Nick, who'd loved to read, was a huge fan of the Karl May books. He'd convinced his friends to prick their index fingers with a needle till a tiny blood drop appeared. Then they pressed their fingers against each other. When he was honest, they most likely not even smudged their fingers, so there was no way that their blood really met, but it felt very intense at the moment. That was the day that they promised each other that they would be friends forever.

Wes' thoughts obviously had gone in the same direction. "_Friendships will come and friendships will go, the seasons will change and it will show..._"

"_...I will age and so will you, but our friendship stays strong and true!_", Nick finished, beaming from one ear to another.

"Oh, I hate you. Both of you!" The two boys jumped startled as Santana's voice cut in. "I came back with the best insult I could think of, and you just remind me on one of the cutest things that ever happened? You're playing unfair, Duval." Her eyes were suspiciously shiny. "Now I have to hug you!"

Not really believing that it wasn't a well-hidden attempt to kill him, Nick tried to push Wes in front of him, but Santana simply threw her arms around both boys at the same time. "Don't think it means that I'm not mad at you!", she warned.

Nick kissed her forehead lightly. "Naw, you love me too much to actually hurt me. I'm sorry that I'm not as courageous as you are yet, but I need to do this in my own way. And, anyway, just because this Jeff guy is gay as well, what makes you think that I'll fall for him in an instant? I'm not the guy who jump on the first boy available." He smirked slightly. "That would be Smythe, not me."

"Nick, honey. I know you. And you should better believe me when I say that Jeff is hot stuff. And, honestly, I would never compare you to the little Smythe snake, so you should better shut up right now and follow me. You too, Wes, or do you wanna be late for rehearsal?"

"Rather not!", the Asian admitted. "She's right, we better hurry."

…

"Santana, Wes, Nick. It's too kind that you decided to join us!" A small, brunette girl crossed her arms as she watched the three friends walk in the choir room. "You know exactly that we other Crescendo members want to win nationals this year, and when you're not willing to..."

"Shut up, midget." Santana made her way over to a few empty chairs. "We also want to win, we just don't build our whole life around this club."

"Where is Glenna, by the way?", Wes asked curiously. Glenna McLeod was the coach of the Glee club since she moved to America from Ireland a year ago. A tiny woman, but with a fiery personality that made it impossible to overlook her. She wasn't a real teacher yet, so she decided to let the students call her by her first name. Nearly every member of Crescendo loved her.

"She's sick, so I took the lead for today and I..."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Who exactly voted for you?" Wes rolled his eyes as Finn and Sebastian raised their hands. The other members seemed to be very interested in their feet all of a sudden. There were Mike and Tina, the other two Asians of the club, and undeniably a perfect couple. Blaine and Kurt, who were sitting in the last row like always – but not because they didn't like the spotlight, but because they had a perfect view of what was going on from behind the group. Furthermore there were Quinn and Puck, who used to date a while ago. The relationship never worked, but they became very close friends. The only one missing was Brittany.

"Where's Brit?", Nick asked Santana quietly while Wes and Rachel began arguing, like every time Glenna couldn't make it to rehearsal.

"On her way, I hope. I think she's showing Jeff the school, you know how easily she forgets about time and dates."

"True." Nick smiled, happy that the Latina didn't seem to be too mad anymore. The chatted for a while, until they got annoyed by the fight that just wouldn't end.

"So... can we sing, now? I'm tired of these power struggles." Nick looked around and saw most of his friends nodding in agreement. "If you want to go on with your discussion, there's no need for the rest of us to be here."

"Oh, sit down, Nick!", Rachel commanded as he attempted to get up from his chair. "I get your point, even if I don't think that your highly valued friend Wesley does. Finn, won't you join me here? I suggest we're trying... oh good god, what now?", she yelled as the door opened again.

Brittany entered the room, her hand intertwined with the one of a tall boy with light blonde hair.

"You're almost half an hour late, Brittany. And this is a closed rehearsal!", Rachel pointed out, throwing a death glare to the blonde.

"But the door wasn't locked", Brittany answered confused. "It was closed, yeah, but it was easy to open. If you don't want anybody to come in, you should really lock it."

"She means that I'm not allowed in here.", the tall blonde explained to her before looking around in the room. "By the way, hey everybody. I'm Jeff, and I wanted to join your club. But judged by the heartwarming welcome I think that this wasn't a good idea."

"Jeffy? Don't you like my friends?" Brittany's lower lip trembled, and Jeff sighed. You had to be a monster to hurt the blonde girl on purpose.

"I'm not a part of this group, Any. I'll wait outside until you're ready, okay?"

"Shut up and come over here!", Santana invited the boy. "Mrs Wannabe-Coach there is a member like everyone else and has nothing to decide."

"_I am_ the female lead of this club, which makes me..."

"An attention whore?", Santana suggested with an innocent smile.

"Enough. Rehearsal is canceled for today. If we lose Nationals, you know who you have to thank..." Rachel stormed out, followed by Finn and Sebastian.

"Nationals here, Nationals there. She sounds like a broken record." 'Tina yawned and stood up, pulling Mike with her. "See you all tomorrow, guys. And welcome, Jeff! No everyone in here is like Rachel, so don't be scared to join us!"

"Well... thanks." Jeff smiled, but he couldn't hide how stressed he was. One by one the members left the room, until it were only Brittany, Santana, Nick and Wes who circled around the new boy.

Nick bit his lip as he took the blonde in. His hair was so light that it couldn't simply be natural, but it was really pretty. He wore a gray and black striped hoodie and a blue washed jeans. He was more than easy on the eyes.

"Have I promised too much?", Santana whispered as she noticed the hunger in Nick's eyes. "As I said, I know you, Duval!"

Nick growled. "You really do, Satan!", he hissed.

The girl chuckled and pulled Jeff over. "So, Jeffy, let me introduce you my two best friends, Nick and Wes."

"You can't be too wrong if you're friends with Santana, so I think it's nice to meet you!"

As Nick took the offered hand, it was like a little electric shock on his skin. He swallowed. He didn't want to fall for any boy, gay or not. He just wanted to finish high school and get out of this damn state, but Jeff was hot, and if Nick was honest, he wasn't sure if he could resist if the blonde would try to get his attention.

_If_ he would.

Nick surely hoped he would not.

**TBC**

**What do you think?**

**I love the idea of Nick, Santana and Wes as close friends, that's why I made this story an AU. Do you think it fits?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the reviews and the story alerts! They always make me so happy and – even if this might be an illusion – they make me write faster. ;)  
Glad you liked it and hope you'll enjoy the update as well!**

Nick lifted his head as his phone rang. He tried to grab it without moving too much, and luckily succeeded. "Hello?", he answered tiredly.

"Move your ass, Duval!"

"Santana?"

"Who else? We're having a little party at Brittany's. Wes is picking you up in twenty minutes."

"I'm sleeping!", Nick answered and hit his head into his pillow. He knew the girl too well to think that she would let him go that easily.

"Then you're waking up now!" Her voice confirmed his concerns. "Come on, Nicky. It's a welcome party for Jeff, and I'm pretty sure that he would be _very _happy if you join us."

Nick sat up. "Why, did he say anything about me?"

The answer was a cheerful laughter. "Aww, Nicky. Sometimes you're so cute. You totally have to come over... pretty please?"

"You knew you would win!", Nick stated as he got up and lazily grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor.

"Of course."

"I'll hang up now. I can't dress myself with one hand."

"Nick Duval. Don't say you're naked right now... standing all alone in your room with nothing but my voice talking about _Jeff..._"

"Santana!" Nick's cheeks turned into a dark shade of red.

"I know you're blushing now. Aww, it's so easy to tease you, I just love it."

"Bye, Santana!", he hissed before he threw his phone back onto his bed. Quickly he dressed and went into the bathroom. How was it even possible to have a bed head from lying down for ten minutes? He grabbed his brush and tried to get control over the mess, but it was impossible. Nick sighed, got back in his room and grabbed his stuff. Then he headed down the stairs and walked into the living room.

"Mom, Dad? I'm going over to Brittany's with Wes and Santana. Her cousin transferred to our school and we want to welcome him."

"No drinking, no drugs, no orgies!" His father smiled and winked.

"And before you drive back drunken, stay over night. Or say that you already have planned to stay there, I don't want to know if you drink." She smirked as her husband glared at her. "What? You know how we were as teens. And Nick is a good boy, and I trust him. So let him have a little fun... I just don't want to know."

"Okay. This is embarrassing. I'll just go and wait for Wes... outside, yeah. Mh... don't wait for me, maybe I'll stay over night." He winked to his mother and left, but he still heard the laughter out of the living room. He was happy that his parents wasn't too strict, but on the other hand he'd never gave them a reason to worry. _But still you're lying to them!"_, a small voice in his head pointed out. _Or at least you're not telling them the important things. If you're honest, they don't really know you._ Nick fought the annoying voice down and left the house in the second Wes stopped his car in front of the building. He hurried over and slipped into the car.

"That's what I call timing!", Wes stated and studied Nick. "You like like you were already sleeping!"

"Almost.", Nick admitted.

"Then why had I to drive you to the party?"

"You didn't had to. I had to get up because you were already on your way!" Nick frowned confused. The realization hit him at the moment when Wes' eyes lit up. "Santana!", they noted in unison.

It wasn't a long right over to the house where Brittany lived with her parents. Wes told Nick that Jeff lived with them at the moment, and that Brittany's parents were out of town this night, so the party was absolutely necessary. That was at least, what Santana had told him.

Only ten minutes later they stood in front of the huge white house. It was an open secret that Brittany's parents had lots of money, but on one really knew how they got it. Brittany didn't knew herself, she always said that the money were there since ever, so probably the whole family was rich. No one really asked because honestly – what did it matter? Only Sebastian still kept throwing questions at poor Brittany.

The door opened and said girl stood in front of them. "Hey. Come in!", she squealed. Her lipgloss was slightly smudged and she obviously wasn't sober anymore.

"Hey Brit!" The boys hugged the girl and followed her into the house.

"We're sitting in the garden, I hope you don't mind."

"That's great, it's still warm actually."

Brittany nodded in excitement. "Yeah, isn't it? We already thought about jumping in the pool."

"You have a _pool_ in your garden? A real pool?" Nick stared at her with opened mouth.

"Of course. How should we jump into it when we didn't had one?"

The small group eventually reached the others, namely Santana and Jeff. The girl rose up and jumped both boys, hugging them happily.

"Well played, Lopez!" Wes smirked and shook the girl gently.

"You're not really angry, and you're here, so I think I won, didn't I?" She beamed one ear to another.

"Thanks for coming over!" Jeff waved with his bottle of beer. "What do you want to drink?"

"Depends!" The boys smirked and looked at Brittany. "Can we crash on the floor tonight?"

"No!" She shook her head. Santana raised a brow as she gazed at her girlfriend.

"I thought you said that they can stay over night."

"Sure. But not on the floor, they can sleep on the couch."

Nick laughed and hugged the blonde girl once more. "Thanks, Brit."

Jeff had pulled two more beer out of nowhere and handed them to the boys.

"Cheers!" They raised the bottles and drank before they sat on the grass in a loose circle.

"So, Jeff, do you like Westerville so far?"

Jeff shrugged. "I haven't seen that much yet. Maybe you can show me around at some time."

"Sure." Wes nodded and smiled, then he turned around and talked to Santana and Brittany.

"Tell me something about your show choir!", Jeff suggested as Nick shifted awkwardly and searched for something to talk about. The blonde boy suppressed a smile. It was cute how clumsy Nick acted. Santana and Brittany already had informed him that the boy was gay, but not openly yet.

"Crescendo?", Nick asked and grimaced slightly. "We used to be a group of friends who like singing and dancing together, but the mood is changing at the moment. A few members are so keen on winning that the fun actually dies."

"The brunette girl with the loud voice? Yeah, she seemed... lively."

"You can say annoying, it's the truth.", Nick offered winking, but Jeff shook his head.

"I don't like to judge people until I get to know them... even if this... Rachel was the name, right? Even if this Rachel girl makes it kinda hard to follow this simple rule."

"At least you try – that makes you an exception at Westerville High." Nick smiled appreciating before he changed the topic. "How comes you transferred to our School. I mean – is it okay to ask?"

"Yeah, sure." Jeff stretched his back and rubbed his neck before he continued talking. "I was attending a boarding school before. Only boys, ridiculous rich kids, protective teachers... it was like a little world on it's own. A safe place were others were trying to fight your fights. I just didn't want that anymore, you know? Take a shot of the real world."

"By 'only boys', do you mean that..."

"It wasn't a gay school, Nick!" Jeff burst out in laughter as Nick blushed violently. "But a lot of us were, yeah. It's not like it is a big deal. Nobody cared."

"We could swap our lives!", Nick suggested sheepishly. "You can have my spot at Westerville High, and I take a pink unicorn and fly over the rainbow to your magical boarding school."

Jeff still laughed. "It is a real school, Nick. And it surely isn't magical at all. They're just educating their students to be tolerant people."

"Yeah. Completely normal for a school. Obviously." Nick grinned.

"What made you so bitter?", Jeff blurted out without thinking. "I mean... sorry. But Santana and Any have told me a bit about their friends, and they said that you're still in the closet for most people – no offense here! Really!"

Nick drank a deep sip of his beer while he thought for an answer. "No offense taken!", he reassured and leaned back on his arms. "It's just... do you already know the system of public schools? Like, the popular kids, the jerks, the losers and so on? I'm a weird mixture, I guess. I'm in the football team, what makes me kind of popular. I don't care much about it, I'm thinking of quitting for a while now. Then, I'm a part of glee club, what makes me a loser. I don't care either, I just love singing and dancing. But if my so-called teammates would find out that I am gay, they would beat the shit out of me, I think. I mean... do you remember Kurt and Blaine? From the choir room?" Nick waited for an answer and continued talking as Jeff nodded thoughtfully. "I saw what they did to them. What they still do. From the place I'm in now, I can defeat them and make sure nothing too bad happens to them. If I'd came out, I would be just another victim and wouldn't have the chance to change anything. Worse, I'm the one who shared a dressing room with them for my complete time at the team. I would be dead!"

A hand cupped Nick's chin, tilting his face up. He met Jeff's narrowed dark eyes directly. Then cool fingers touched his cheek for an instant. "That's America!", Jeff stated with calm voice. "Being overweight is a disease and you aren't to blame for it at all, while being gay is something you can choose. Doesn't make sense at all, don't you think?"

Nick let out a shaking breath he hadn't noticed to hold for a while now. "I've never seen it that way."

"Maybe you should!", Jeff murmured, sitting back and letting Nick's face go. "You can love whoever you want, Nick. There's nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't make you another person. The people who are you're friends right now won't give a damn, and the one who do... well, they aren't real friends, so it's no big loss." He stood up and offered Nick a hand to pull him up as well. "Whatever, this conversation is getting way too serious for a beautiful evening like this. Let's jump into the pool, what do you think?"

"Oh, I... I brought no trunks..."

"Who cares? Just go in your boxers." Jeff was already pulling his pants down. "Any, San, Wes!", he shouted. "Swimming time!"

Three happy cheers were the answer, and maybe a minute later the boys and girl all jumped into the water. Nobody except for Nick seemed to care that they all were in their underwear, so the brunette decided not to think about it as well.

"Nick!" Santana called his name and jumped him. Nick, knowing this scene way to well, grabbed her waist and lifted her over his head. Since they were kids, they used to watch Dirty Dancing together, and Santana had always been a big fan of this certain part of the film. After a while Nick couldn't hold her anymore, so they broke together with a loud splash.

"This never gets old!", Santana cheered as she broke through the surface again, gasping for air. She looked around slightly confused. "Wait, where is Nick? - Uaaah!" She vanished into the water again. Just a few seconds later Nick's head appeared, a wide smile all over his face. He was followed by Santana, who was obviously fuming. "Oh, wait, Duval. My revenge will be horrible!"

It took almost no time until all of them were involved into a huge water fight which left them breathless when it was over. They crawled out of the pool, collapsing on the ground and holding their stomachs that hurt from laughter.

"It was the best idea you ever had to invite us over, Santana!" Wes gasped and rolled over to pull the girl into a soft embrace.

"I know. I always have the best ideas!" She smirked and sat up, trembling slightly. "We should dress again, otherwise we all will catch a cold. Brit, can I borrow some underwear from you? And Jeff, do you have boxers for those two idiots here?"

"Sure. Follow me, guys." Nick and Wes walked behind Jeff into the house. He showed them the way to his room, which was pretty much empty. "I was too lazy to unpack all my stuff until now!", he explained with a sheepish smile. "Here you are. The bathroom is the second door on the left."

Nick went to change first, followed by Wes and eventually Jeff himself.

"I'm kinda tired, actually.", Wes yawned and gazed over to the big couch in the living room longingly.

"Then go and sleep. We'll keep Santana from drawing on your face or anything comparable!", Jeff promised. Wes nodded thankfully.

"Sounds great, dude. See you all tomorrow."

As the door closed behind the Asian, Jeff shot Nick an questioning look. "Do you also want to sleep yet?"

"Not really. I were tired as hell as Santana called, but now..."

"You were? She told me that you and Wes insisted of visiting us this night."

Nick just laughed sympathetically. "That's Santana. You'll get used to it. Wes and myself know her since we attended preschool, and she manages to manipulate us nonetheless. You know what they say: Beauty always comes with dark thoughts. And Satan... sorry, I meant Santana is undeniably beautiful."

"If that's true, your mind has to be pretty dark as well." Jeff teased Nick, who was already blushing again. Jeff chuckled amused. "Oh, come on, Nick. Don't take everything so serious. Let's get back to the girls, from what I know about them, they're already making up stories in their mind what we're doing, and I wouldn't be too surprised if at least one of them includes a hot threesome."

Nigh sighed deeply. "I'm afraid you're right."

When they reached the garden, they noticed that their concerns were unnecessary. In fact, the two girls wasn't making anything _up_, they were making _out. _

"I don't want to interrupt them!" Nick whispered to Jeff, who agreed nodding.

"Let's see if we can grab a few beer and come with me into my room. I have a lot of space, as you saw earlier."

"Right." was all he answered. Jeff sneaked into the garden and grabbed as many bottles as he could carry, which were exactly six.

"If you would follow me, Mr Duval?" he asked with a fake British accent.

"I would be honored, Mr... mh..."

"Sterling.", Jeff added drily.

"Mr Sterling.", Nick repeated charmingly and offered Jeff his arm, causing him to chuckle lightly.

"I see, we're gonna have a lot of fun!" Jeff somehow managed to intertwine their arms without dropping one of the bottles and pulled Nick with him, back inside the house.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Just finished the next part of the story. I can't wait to hear if you like it or not. It was kinda hard to write, but I like how it came out.  
Thanks so much for all the faves and alerts, they made me so happy!**

"Nick?" It knocked softly at his door. He closed his facebook page and shut his notebook. "Dinner is ready!"

"Coming!" he answered. The door opened slightly and his sister Kayla stepped in. She was a tall, blonde girl with long, shiny hair. No-one would ever suspect them to be siblings, and if Nick was honest, he didn't care much about he. The two of them never came along really well. To Nick, Kayla was just as mean as she was beautiful. "I said _coming_, not _come in_!" He tried to give her an evil look, but she ignored him completely and just threw herself onto his bed.

"You didn't come home yesterday." She found a box of Red Vines and pulled one out of it, raising a brow at her brother as she took the first bite.

Nick was slightly annoyed. Okay, to be honest, more than slightly. Why had she always to know everything? "I know."

"May I ask where you spent the night?" She chuckled as Nick refused to answer. "Is she pretty?"

"What I do or not do whenever and with whoever, my dear Kayla, is none of your business. And why are you eating my sweets? I thought we had to got to dinner."

Kayla couldn't stop laughing as she followed her brother downstairs.

…

"Nick. Nick! Where are your thoughts today?" Nick's mother watched her son closely, slightly concerned as he didn't answer her question after she repeated it for the third time.

"What? Oh, I'm sorry mom. I really don't know..."

"Nicky is in love!", Kayla sang more than she said the words. Nick glared daggers at his sister.

"I'm not." But he felt his cheeks blush deeply. Of course, the curiousness of his parents awoke by his reaction.

"Oh honey, I'm so glad for you. Have you finally found out that your in love with Santana? I knew it for so long, there wasn't..."

"Mom!" Nick rolled his eyes, completely annoyed this time. Or, to name it, pissed. "Santana is with Brittany, I have told you before, do you remember?"

"I do, but I didn't think that you meant it like that. I mean, they both are girls." His mother took another bite of her salad before she continued speaking. "It's obvious that it won't last very long."

"So?", Nick hissed through his teeth. He was already fuming, but he clearly didn't want to go deeper in the thematic.

"I guess they're just making out to get the boys hot!", Kayla stated, throwing her hair back and chuckling again. Had her laughter always been this annoying? Nick really couldn't remember.

"They love each other, okay? Get with it. I don't know where you're problem is!"

"I don't know where yours is!", Kayla shot back. "You act like you were personally involved and attacked. I don't get it, you're not gay, aren't you?"

Nick groaned in frustration and tried to concentrate on his food, but he had lost his appetite.

"Nick?", his father asked with calm voice. "Don't you want to answer your sister?"

"No. I don't want to!" Nick laid down his fork. "I'm not really hungry today. May I be excused?"

"I think we need to finish this conversation first."

"Oh, come on!", Nick burst out before he could even think about a proper answer. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to come out and tell you that I'm secretly gay? Yeah, ok. I am. Are you happy now?"

The room was deadly silent after his words, and Nick realized what he'd just done. _Fuck! _After a while, his mother started laughing. "Oh Nick, you shouldn't joke around like this. I thought my heart would stop beating!"

It was ridiculous how desperate she was offering him a chance to take his words back. _Screw that,_ Nick thought. _It's now or never._ "I'm not joking, mom. I'm gay." He felt his heart throbbing very hard as he waited for a response. He didn't really know what he expected, though. It stayed silent for a long, long time. Maybe in reality, it were only a few seconds, but to Nick, it felt like an eternity.

"No!", his mother finally shouted. "No, no, no! You're not gay. My son is not gay!" She stormed out of the room without giving Nick the chance to reply anything.

"Mom!", he called after her, but it was senseless. The woman didn't return.

Kayla wrinkled her nose in disgust. "That explains a lot, Nick. I always thought you weren't... manly. It's this Wes guy, right?"

"Shut up!" Nick felt hot tears burning in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

"My brother is a fag..."

"Kayla!" Mr Duval made his daughter a sign to leave. Nick felt a bit relieved, but his father glared at him as soon as she left the room. "Nick. Please tell me if you are really honest about that."

"Yeah. Yes, I am." Nick suddenly noticed that he never was as sure about his sexual orientation as he was in this moment. And he noticed another thing: That he wanted his father to understand. The reaction of his mother and sister sunk in deeper with every second that passed, and he felt really miserable. At least one person of his family had to be supportive.

"That wasn't the answer I wanted to hear!" All his hopes crashed as his father eventually answered. "I cannot allow that under my roof, Nicolas. It's a sin."

"You weren't in a church for ages, dad!" Nick tried not to show how hurt he really was, but he couldn't hide his trembling voice.

"That doesn't matter. Fact is, that I don't want a gay son."

"But why?", Nick cried out. "Dad, I'm still me. I'm not another person."

"But I feel like you were." His father got up slowly. "Maybe you'll change your mind, Nick. I hope you do, because now... you're nothing but a disappointment."

Nick cringed as the older men left without looking back. The words repeated in his head over and over again. _'You're nothing but a disappointment... a disappointment... a disappointment...' _Nothing had ever hurt so badly. Not the horrified reaction of his mother, not the contempt Kayla had shown, just... nothing. Without any second thoughts, Nick ran out of the room, out of the house and away. He didn't knew in which direction he headed, he just wanted to get away from his home – if he was still allowed to call it like that. He ran and ran, down the street, into a forest, until his legs started aching and every breath was pure torture for his burning lungs. He let himself fall on the ground and pulled his knees to his chest.

Had everything really happened? Yeah, of course. Obviously. Why would he sit in the damn wood when it didn't happen? Nick sobbed violently, but he immediately bit his lip hard to stop himself. What should he do now? He couldn't stay in the wood for long, the twilight was already coming, only a few more minutes, maybe an hour, until it would be completely dark. But there was also no way to get home again, at least not today. Nicks hands reached for his pockets, and with relief he noticed that he had his phone with him. He pulled it out and dialed the first number that came to his mind.

"Nick, what's up?"

"Sanny..." He hated how weak the word came out. Of course Santana immediately caught that something was off.

"What's wrong?" Her voice sounded alarmed. He never called her by this pet name they used when they were about 8 years old. If he does, it was either to soothe the girl or because he needed someone to talk to himself. "Nicky?"

"I... You... Can I crash on your couch tonight?"

"I'm still at Brittany's, but of course you can. Her parents won't come back for at least five more days." A little silence followed. "Nick, honestly, are you okay?"

"I..." A single sob escaped him before he could hold it back. "I'm just coming over, okay?"

"Where are you?"

"In the woods, our woods, you know?"

"Of course I do. Nick, listen. Stay where you are, we'll come and get you."

"But..."

"No. There's no way I let you drive when you're upset. I don't want you to crash into a tree or something. Don't argue with me, Duval. You know that it's useless!" He heard voices mumble in the background before the girl continued speaking. "We're on our way, Nick. Can you tell me where exactly you are?"

Nick gave her the instructions and ended the call. He started trembling, partly because of his nerves and partly because the air already eased remarkably. He didn't had to wait too long, though. Maybe 15 minutes later he heard footsteps.

"Nicky?" Santana appeared in front of him. Worry had darkened her eyes. "It's getting cold. Come on, get up!" She took his hand and pulled him with her, forcing him to leave the wood. They reached a car, in which two other persons were waiting. Jeff and Brittany, how Nick recognized soon. He opened his mouth to protest, but Santana just grabbed his wrist closer. "Get in there. Now."

Nick slipped inside the car and sat on the backseat. He mumbled something that could have been a greeting, but Jeff and Brittany couldn't understand him at all. Santana sat next to her best friend and took his hand while Jeff started the engine again. She slipped out of her jacked and covered Nick's upper body as if it was a blanked. Nick was so wrapped in his thoughts that he didn't notice the concerned looks Jeff shot him in the rear view mirror every few minutes. He was really surprised when the car stopped in front of the house. The passed time felt like an instant. He knew that he had to talk once he entered the house, and he just had hoped the ride would take a little longer. Speaking it out loudly would make everything become... _real_.

"Come on, sweetheart!" Santana stroked his bangs out of his face. "You have to get up and come with me into the house. Then you can sleep, I promise."

It wasn't until she said that, that Nick noticed how tired he was. Exhausted, to be true. He noticed someone's arm slipping underneath his own, half carrying him towards the building. Jeff. "You don't have to do that.", Nick whispered, his cheeks turning deep red. He was so ashamed. He didn't want people to see him like that, so... so... broken. Helpless. Confused. It was embarrassing.

"I know!", Jeff answered and hold him while Brittany unlocked the door. "But I want to."

Nick shrugged and let him guide himself into a room – he didn't really knew what kind of room that was and honestly, he wasn't interested at all. The room had a bed, that was all that counted. He crawled into the sheets and curled into a ball. Santana joined him and hugged him from behind, singing a Spanish lullaby he never heard before, trying to soothe him.

Brittany grabbed Jeff's hand and pulled him out. "What can we do to help?", he asked, already feeling useless.

"We're gonna call Wes.", Brittany explained. "It just works when all of them are together."

"What works?" Jeff frowned. He knew Brittany for so many years, but still a lot of her answers just caused more questions inside of him.

"The magic."

Jeff rolled his eyes. _Magic_, sure. He went into the kitchen to boil water for tea. Tea was never bad, right? When people are sick or upset, they drink tea. So it couldn't be wrong. Right?

Brittany followed him two minutes later. "Wes is on his way!", she told him with her gentle voice. "Then you'll see what I mean."

"Alright, Brit." The water began to seethe, and Jeff took the heater to pour the hot liquid into a cup.

"That smells nice. Strawberry?", Brittany asked. She smiled and tilted her head to look at her cousin.

"Yeah. It's for Nick, do you think that's weird?"

"No. That's cute!", she stated, giggling as the tall blonde boy blushed a little.

"Well... okay. There's still water in the heater, Brit. And I have left the tea on the countertop."

Jeff made his way to the visitors room, where they had brought Nick to lie down. He knocked against the closed door.

"Yeah?", Santana's voice answered. Jeff pushed the door open and went into the room, trying not to burn his fingers with the hot cup. Nick just watched him with empty eyes.

"I... mh... I have made you some tea. I hope you like strawberry. Uhm..."

"Thanks, Jeff. Put it on the nightstand." Santana answered as Nick didn't reply at all.

"If you need anything... well..." Jeff cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I know. Thanks." Santana was still stroking Nick's hair. Jeff was about to respond and leave, as someone else rushed into the room. He recognized Wes and offered him a small smile. Wes smiled in return and patted his back as he walked towards the bed. He laid down himself, so Nick was in the middle of his best friends. Jeff swallowed. He never had friends like this, who cared so deeply about each other. He felt like an invader, so he quickly walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He searched for Brittany, who he found in the living room, sitting on the couch and holding her own cup of tea. A second one was on the table.

"I thought you could need some, too."

"Thanks!" Jeff sat besides his cousin, who took the chance to cuddle into his side. "And what are we doing now?"

"We're waiting for the magic to happen. They'll come out of the room when they're ready."

"I feel like..."

"...an outcast? Useless?", Brittany suggested. "I know. You'll get used to it after a few times."

…

Jeff had no idea how many time had passed as he heard a door open somewhere in the house. A few seconds later, Wes and Santana entered the living room. Both looked terribly exhausted.

Brittany rose up and pulled Santana into a hug, while Wes let himself fall onto the free space Brittany had left.

"He's sleeping." He informed Jeff and rolled his tensed shoulders. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!"

"What..." Jeff wanted to asked, he really wanted, but in the last second he decided not to end his question. He was afraid to be told to mind his own business.

"He came out to his family. And they are not accepting. Small-minded idiots! And it's my fault." Wes swore, his voice so dark that Jeff flinched slightly.

"And mine.", Santana sighed. "I always teased him with... stuff."

"Shut up." A tired voice let all of the people inside the living room jump startled. In the door frame stood Nick. No one had noticed his arrival since Santana and Wes hadn't closed the door as they entered. They wanted to be in earshot for the case that Nick would have a nightmare, but said boy wasn't even sleeping as it turned out now. Wes slit to the side, creating a gap between himself and Jeff. Nick sighed and sat down between the boys. He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "I heard you. And it wasn't the fault of any of you. It was my decision. It just wasn't... the best idea I ever had. I... I feel so stupid."

Jeff was surprised that Nick talked in front of him about such personal stuff. It wasn't that he knew him for long, or that they even had the chance to become really close. That Nick seemed to trust him though made him very happy and his heart beating faster. _Inappropriate, Jeff._ He bit his lower lip and searched for Nick's hand, squeezing it lightly as he eventually found it. Nick turned to him, his eyes wide and amazed. Jeff blushed and already tried to pull his hand back, as Nick turned his own, so their palms touched lightly.

"I don't know what happened, and you don't have to tell me...", he began carefully. Was he allowed to say anything?

"They kicked me out!", Nick interrupted. "I told them that I am gay... My sister teased me, and I couldn't deny it. I wanted to, but I couldn't just betray myself. I'm who I am, and they're my family. They should love me for what I am, but... they don't."

Wes wrapped an arm around Nick's shoulders and Jeff intertwined his fingers with Nick's, both boys trying to comfort the shaking mess between them. As Jeff looked up he saw Santana crying. Santana. Crying. He vaguely remembered that Brittany had told him that Santana's coming out wasn't successful either. Nick's story probably reminded her on her own past and hurt. Luckily enough, Brittany was already rocking the brunette girl.

"My parents don't love me. What does that say about me?", Nick started again, with so much hurt in his voice that Jeff had troubles to suppress a deep sigh. "I mean, if they don't do, who will ever? Who _should_? And why should anyone?"

"We do!", Wes stated, and Nick tilted his head towards him, desperate hope in his eyes. "Don't ever forget about that. We love you for who you are. We never turned our backs on you and we never will. You know that, Nick. I'm sorry for what your parents did and said, but there's nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me?" Nick nodded slowly. "Nothing, Nick. The only ones who should blame themselves are your parents and Kayla!" He spat her name. He never liked that girl. Once she tried to seduce him, and if he crashed her hopes and told her that he would never date her, she spread the rumor that he was gay at school. "I wish I could tell you that they'll change their minds. I really hope they will. But I don't know. But what I know is, whatever will happen, we'll be on your side." Wes grimaced and smirked. "Geez, listen to me. No surprise that people always assume that I'm also gay."

Nick chuckled, well knowing that Wes was making jokes, but the laughter turned into a sob. "Thank you.", he whispered. "All of you!" He searched Jeff's eyes for an instant. "I think I'll take a nap, okay? But, please... don't worry about me. Okay? I... I think I'm okay for the moment. You made me."

Wes pulled the boy close for a moment. "Sleep well, Nicky. We're here if you need us."

"Thanks." Nick left, knowing that they would start talking about him as soon as he entered the guest room. But he'd told them the truth, he was okay. He didn't know for how long, but right now it was enough. He once had heard that Brittany had called the trust between himself, Wes and Santana as magical, and in his opinion it nailed the point. But something else had soothed his heart as well. He remembered Jeff, touching his hand lightly and almost hesitantly, and the comfort that lay in this little gesture. And even if everything still hurt as hell, some feeling inside of him was strong enough to let him slide into a dreamless sleep and keep the nightmares away – he just wasn't able to name it.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**And on it goes...**

**Thanks for the feedback for the last chapter, you guys are amazing! Thanks so, so much!  
For this chapter I have to thank _Eraman_, she gave me an idea that I just had to use, and so... yeah. This is it.  
Hope you enjoy!**

When Nick awoke, it was already morning. He heard birds singing outside, and the sun shone through the window. He rubbed his eyes and sat up slowly, stretching his whole body. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to turn the mess into something that let him look like a human. He gave up after a moment, though. He pulled on his jeans and opened the window slightly before he left the room. His first way was to the bathroom, then he went to look for his friends. He found them in the living room. All of them. Brittany and Santana lay on one couch, hugging each other while they were sleeping. Jeff was curled together in an armchair and Wes was sleeping on the shorter couch. Nick couldn't help but smile at the view. He decided to let them sleep for a moment longer and walked towards the kitchen. The coffee was halfway ready as a very sleepy Jeff entered the kitchen.

"I smelled right!", he cheered. "I would kill for a coffee."

"I'm afraid that you have to wait for a moment. And I would really appreciate when you be patient and let me live." Nick offered him a smile and turned towards the cupboard to grab two cups.

"I think I can control myself for a while." Jeff leaned against the wall and watched Nick moving through the kitchen. "How are you, Nick?"

"Honestly?" Nick poured the coffee into the cups. "Milk or sugar?"

"What?" Jeff raised a brow. Was that a code the Westerville kids used to talk about their feelings? Maybe milk and sugar was rather positive, and pepper and salt for bad emotions.

"Do you need milk or sugar for your coffee, Jeff?", Nick specified his question with a little laughter in his voice.

"Oh... well, it's too early for me, I guess. Nothing, thanks."

Nick grabbed the two cups and moved over to the kitchen table. As the boys were seated, he rubbed his nose awkwardly. "I'm sorry for yesterday, Jeff. Usually I wait for people to know me for longer until I break down in front of them."

"Never mind." Jeff took a big sip of the black liquid.

"You'll burn your throat, are you crazy?" Nick watched him with horror in his eyes.

Jeff just shook his head and laughed quietly. Nick liked the sound, it was warm and honest. "A matter of training.", the blonde admitted. "You haven't seen me on school mornings yet. I'm not myself without coffee... some people really wanted to inject me the caffeine." Nick shrugged in response, sceptically eying his own coffee. "So, Nick. Are you done with trying to change the subject, or do we have to talk about the weather first before we can get to the point?"

"Uhm... it's sunny outside?" It was more a question than an actual sentence.

Jeff locked eyes with the shorter boy. "Nick. If you don't want to talk to me, that's totally fine. I'm just concerned how you get along, so just tell me if you're okay or if you need anything and I let it drop."

Nick bit his bottom lip hardly and tried to hold Jeff's gaze. Half a minute later he resigned, his eyes wandering down to the wooden table, where his fingers were already tracing the pattern. He suppressed a sigh before he began to speak. "I think I'm okay, Jeff. I'm just... confused. It's like... a part of me died – or no, not died actually, but if feels numb. Everything is a big blur, but at the same time I remember every word they said. And the look in their eyes, the... disgust. And it hurts, because... I don't know. I'm still the same person I was yesterday before they knew."

"You are. And from what I see, you're a great person. You're honest about yourself and you're strong. No, really!", he underlined as Nick just snorted. "Don't think that I don't know how much courage it needs to tell anyone what you really feel. I was a mess before I came out, I just was blessed with a supportive family. And I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this shit, now."

"I don't know if I can ever get back.", Nick admitted so quietly that his voice was barely audible. "But tomorrow we have to go to school again, and I need my stuff. And my clothes. And a place to live. And a job... damn!"

"Hey, one step at a time. We'll get your stuff today, and you can stay here at least for the time Brit's parents are out. Until then, we will have something figured out, I promise."

Nick groaned and rested his head on the table. "I shouldn't have told them. I hate this troubles, and I don't want to be a burden to any of you."

"You're not!", Jeff soothed, voice as soft as velvet.

"Yes, yes. I am!" Nick's head shot up, and Jeff discovered an anger he hadn't seen in Nick's eyes before. "And there's nothing I can do about it, because I need help. I hate it!" As quick as the burning flame rose in his eyes, it faded again, leaving Nick feeling empty. He sighed. "Sorry. I'm not ungrateful, I promise. It just... sucks."

Jeff nodded, not sure what to answer.

"Hey, is it okay when I go get a shower? I feel like I could need one.", Nick asked eventually.

"Sure.", Jeff smiled. "Do you want to borrow some clothes? I mean, I'm taller than you, but your arms look like you're working out and... forget about that. It's still early."

Nick chuckled slightly amused. "Yeah, thanks for the offer. I'll find a way to return the favor anytime."

"Gosh, Nick. That's nothing you have to return, I mean, we're talking about clothes. Come, we'll find something for you." They quickly finished their coffees and headed over to Jeff's room.

…

"Coffee. Jeff, babe. You're an angel!" Santana smiled relieved as the blonde boy balanced a tray with some cups, a big can, a pot of milk and lump sugar into the living room. Her girlfriend looked up for a moment and covered her face with the blanket. Obviously somebody needed a little more time to wake up.

"As much as I love to hear that, Nick has been preparing everything. I'm just the waiter."

"How is he?", Wes asked and sat up.

"Confused, but he seems to cope everything remarkably well. Listen guys." He let himself fall onto the spot next to Wes. "He need to get home to get his stuff. Schoolbag, clothes and so on. I would offer to go with him, but I don't think that this would be the best idea. I mean, you don't bring a new guy to your nonsupporting parents just a day after you came out, right? I don't want to mess the situation up more as it's now."

"You're right." Santana nodded. "I'm going with him."

"Me too!", Wes decided. "San, it's not that I don't think that you can have an eye on him, I'm afraid that his parents will blame you for making him gay or whatever shit those homophobes can think of."

"Thanks." Jeff was surprised that the Latina didn't try to argue or to change his mind, another evidence how deep their friendship really was. "Where is he, by the way?"

"Taking a shower!", Jeff answered.

"Nope, he's already finished." Nick entered the room, his hair still damp. Jeff bit his lip absently as he noticed how his simple gray shirt tightened around the muscles. It was about time that the boy got his own stuff, or he'd get completely insane.

"We just decided that Santana and I are coming with you to grab your stuff!", Wes informed his friend.

"You did?" Nick grinned and sat on the floor, his back resting against the couch on which Jeff and Wes were seated. Wes ruffled his hair playfully.

"Of course we did. You know us."

"True." Nick took out his phone. No missed calls, no messages. He sighed and glanced at the time. "Maybe we should go right now. The chances are good that they're visiting friends right now, they often do that on Sundays."

"Alright, then." Wes and Santana jumped out of their seats. It took them not more than five minutes to get ready and leave the house with Nick. Once more, Jeff and Brittany found themselves left behind, but they didn't really care.

"You like him." Brittany stated after a while and cuddled deeper in her blanket.

"What?" Jeff snapped out of his thoughts.

"You like him. Nick.", she repeated.

"So?", Jeff asked carefully.

The blonde girl smiled sympathetically. "Nothing. I just noticed."

Jeff smiled in return. He couldn't really understand the way Brittany's brain was working. She often seemed so confused and unaware of what was going on around her, but then there were moments like that. Maybe her mind wasn't able to get all the complicated and tangled parts of the human behavior, instead she could point out the core, the source that caused all the troubles.

"I like Nick, too. And I think he could like you, he's just scared right now."

Jeff was still unable to reply. Brittany fell silent as well, and as he looked up at his cousin the next time, the girl had fallen back into a light sleep.

…

"They're car is gone!" Nick smiled relieved as he pulled out his keys to unlock the door of the Duval's house. He stepped inside carefully though, afraid that anyone would be still there. Luckily enough, his worries were unnecessary.

"Come on, Nicky." Santana grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the stairs. Nick hadn't even recognized that he stopped right in the corridor. "Let's grab your stuff and leave, so we're back at Brittany's when they return.

"Right, yeah." Nick's hands were shaking as he went towards his room and opened the stairs. Nobody seemed to have entered the room since he left it, everything was untouched.

"Okay. Wes, you pick up some clothes. I will catch the stuff you need for school and so on, and you go to the bathroom and grab your things. I don't know which ones are yours."

The boys followed Santana's orders without arguing, it sounded like a good plan after all. Nick hurried over to the bathroom and threw all his stuff into a big cosmetic bag. He was just about to return as he heard a key unlocking the door and steps in the entrance. His face lost all of it's color as he ran back into his room.

"What's wrong?", Wes asked alarmed.

"They're back!"

Wes and Santana shared a look. Santana quickly packed Nick's laptop inside the bag she already filled with many different things and pulled the zipper. "Maybe we can get out without being noticed." Her voice was meant to sound reassuring, but Nick was shaking violently.

"I can't meet them.", he whispered over and over again. "I can't."

Wes shouldered the bag he'd packed and made a sign to leave. "We'll try to sneak out. Come on, Nick."

He grabbed the trembling boy at his wrist and pulled him with him. They already were halfway through the corridor when a voice cut through the silence. "Mom, dad? You won't believe who came back!" Kayla! Wes hissed.

"Shut up!" Santana spat.

"Who are you to talk to me, lesbian?" The blonde girl tossed her hair back and smiled arrogantly.

"Don't call her like that!" Nick tried to defend his friend, but his sister just laughed.

"Ah, I see. Sour spot, right, fag?"

Wes was about to yell at the girl when her parents entered the hallway as well.

"Nicky!" Mrs Duval offered him a false smile. "I take that you came to your mind?"

"Not at all!", Nick answered and tried desperately to give his voice strength. "I am who I am, and if you can't accept that..."

"I can accept many things, but I can't accept a fag in this house." His father stated and crossed his arms.

Nick was about to cry. Santana and Wes, who of course had noticed that, stepped in front of him in a protective way.

"What's wrong with you all? He's your son!" Wes was furious. Sadly Mrs Duval knew him since he was in preschool, so she wasn't intimidated at all.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that. We raised our son as a good boy. Polite, thoughtful, helpful."

"And he is all of the things you listed." Santana tried to convince the adults. Her voice was trembling with disappointment. She'd always wished her family to be more like the Duvals, she'd never expected them to turn out as simple homophobes – like way to many other people she knew. What was wrong with all of them? Why couldn't they see behind the 'gay'-label?

"You!" Nick's mother stepped forwards and pointed at Santana. "You brought that crazy idea into his mind. You were such a sweet girl, once, and now... you're just as disgusting as he is now. I should talk to your parents."

"You will do nothing like that." Santana jumped towards the woman, but Wes hold her back instantly.

"You clearly have to learn to show respect to adults." Mr Duval still stood in the door frame.

"Like you're respecting your family?", Wes asked innocently.

"I respect my family. That's why I had to make the decision I made. When Nick has overcome his little confusion, we're willing to take him back in our family with arms wide open." Kayla snorted, so her father glared at her. "You can go into your room, Kayla. Now!", he added, as the girl opened her mouth to protest.

"Then you'll better not wait for me to come back.", Nick stated with tiny voice. All eyes were on him in an instant, and of course Kayla made no attempt to leave.

"Nick, get out!" Wes directed as he noticed that Mr Duval was shaking angrily.

"But..."

"Nick, _get out_ for heavens sake! Santana?" He waited until the girl had dragged his friend outside before he turned back to the Duval family. "You should be so ashamed of yourself. All of you. You're adults, and you should know how to behave. All the social values you're expecting from your son are totally lacking when it comes to you. Do you know how hard it was for Nick to tell you? He only did because he _trusted_ you, and what did you do? You want everyone to be just like you, but I thank god that most people have the ability to think! The only ones disgusting are you."

Nick's father raised his hand to slap the boy, but Wes ducked quickly, so his hand just hit the wall. The man cursed, but didn't try to hit him again.

"You broke him!" Wes told them as he turned to leave. "But we'll do everything possible to keep him from believe in what you have said."

"He will return. He needs his family." Mrs Duval whispered.

Wes laughed sarcastically. "The family who'd just told him that he's no longer a part of it? Don't worry, he has a family that holds his back. It's just not... yours."

"You can't pick a family..."

"Then how can you decide to throw somebody out of it?" Wes glared the Duvals. As no one answered, he just nodded. "I see."

He left the building and entered the car, turning back to watch Nick and Santana. "Are you okay? Both of you?", he asked, concerned about his best friends. They nodded, but Nick was still indescribable pale. Wes sighed quietly as he started the engine.

…

It was around midnight as Jeff resigned. He'd tried to sleep, but all he did was turning around in his bed. He groaned tiredly as he got up to get a cup of warm milk. Maybe that would help after all. When he went towards the kitchen, he heard a strange noise out of the visitors room. He stopped hesitantly in front of the door and knocked. "Nick?" There was no answer, even the noise he'd heard stopped. Jeff opened the door a slight and looked into the room. Nick sat on his bed, obviously not sleeping as well. "Nick, are you okay?"

The brunette turned his face towards him, and Jeff could see that tears were streaming over his face, even if he wasn't making a noise. Shit, what was he supposed to do? Wes wasn't there anymore, his mother had called and asked him to come back. Santana and Brittany were sleeping in Brittany's room. Maybe... "Do you want me to wake up Santana?", he asked hesitantly. He was a little bit terrified of the thought of waking the Latina, but from what he'd seen earlier this day, she would get up without asking twice. But Nick just shook his head. "Then... do you want me to stay here with you?" At first there was no reaction, then Nick nodded haltingly.

"But... just if you want to!"

"Move over!" Jeff closed the door behind him and sat besides Nick. The smaller boy rested his head against his shoulder, falling silent again. Jeff felt his tears soaking his shirt, but he didn't care. He carefully brought his arm behind Nick and caressed his hair with his fingertips. They remained in this position for a long time, none of them speaking at all. It was a very intimate moment, and to Jeff it felt as if they already knew each other for months or years, not for days. Eventually, the boys became tired and fell asleep. Nick curled into Jeff's side, who just pulled him closer and held him all night long.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Guys, I'm seriously sorry for the long break. I promise it won't happen again!**

**Hope you're still with me and this story! :)**

_"Nicky, get up!" A hand shook him lightly. "Come on, honey, you overslept. You'll gonna be late for school."_

_"I don't want to..." Nick grabbed his pillow and pulled it over his face._

_"But you have to. I already prepared your breakfast." _

_"But mom..." Nick already knew that he had lost the fight. The woman removed the pillow from his face and smiled softly. _

_"Hurry up, sleepyhead." _

"Nick... Nick, wake up!"

Nick awoke with a start. "What... what..."

"Nick, it's me, Jeff. You're safe, okay?"

As Nick's eyes adjusted to the pale light in the room, he recognized Jeff sitting next to him and watching him with concern in his eyes. "What happened?", he asked tiredly.

"I don't know. You started crying again, but you were deeply asleep. I think you had a nightmare."

"I didn't.", Nick whispered sadly. Jeff was obviously confused, so he explained more detailed. "I dreamed about my family. It was nothing special, just a normal morning. With a normal family. Like I used to have."

"It's getting better!", Jeff promised, but fell silent as he heard Nick snorting.

"Nothing is going to be better." Nick blinked a few times, trying to get rid off the tears that were hanging in his lashes. "It's not."

"You were so brave the whole day through. Now it's night, and in the dark things tend to seem scarier than they actually are. It will be okay."

Nick sniffled. "Why can't I just be normal?"

Jeff chuckled while he laid down again pulled him even closer as he had when he first tried to shush him earlier that night. Nick couldn't help but relax into the comforting touch. The blonde boy stroked over his hair again and mumbled soothing words, so low that Nick couldn't understand most of them. He became more and more tired, his eyes already shutting. "Why would you try to fit in, when you were born to stand out?", was the last thing he heard before he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

…

Splash. Something cold as hell hit him right into the face right as he entered school. His eyes started burning immediately, and he could do nothing but squeeze them close and stand frozen to the spot while he heard all hell break lose around him.

"You didn't do that!"

"How do you dare?"

"He deserved it..."

"... can't believe what..."

"Fag."

A single word broke into his mind, and he felt his world crumble. They couldn't even possibly know. This was not happening. He wasn't ready for it. A hand slipped into his and dragged him away. He didn't know who it belonged to, but he couldn't care less right now.

"Don't be scared." Before he could ask what was going on, he he felt some wet fabric touching his face, rubbing the burning liquid that he'd by that time identified as a strawberry slushie out of his eyes.

"Try to open your eyes, now. I know it hurts, but I have to say how much really got into them."

Nick hissed at he did how he was told. His vision was blurry at first, but then it sharpened so he could clearly see Kurt's face in front of his own. Said boy smiled sadly at him.

"They are just a little red, it's not too worse. It will burn for five minutes and then slowly fade away."

"I feel like I was hit by a snowman." Nick mumbled unbelieving and looked around. He was in a bathroom, but it was none of the ones he knew. He assumed that it had to be one of the girl's.

"I know. Bow your head, I want to wash it out off your hair."

As he felt water running over his face, he decided that it was a safe moment to let a few tears fall and think about what had just happened. How did the kids know?

"Who did it?" Nick asked hesitantly.

"Kendall." Kurt's voice was soft as he answered while his fingers were brushing gently through Nick's hair to get rid off the icy drink. "Get up, I'm ready."

"Thank you!" Nick caught Kurt's gaze and hold it. "Kurt, I... I always tried to protected you, but I'm sorry I couldn't do anything more. I... this is so humiliating."

"I know!" Kurt repeated sadly. "But I appreciate what you did for me. You were one of the few people who did anything at all."

"I should have done more, though." Nick tilted his head down and looked at his feet. "You surely think I'm a coward."

"I don't. I know how hard it is."

"I'm not as brave and strong as you are."

"You will be." Kurt squeezed his shoulder lightly. "It's not that you have a lot of different choices. Come, let's go back to your friends. I'm sure they're worried."

"I can't..."

"Oh yes, you can. We will just..."

Before he could finish the door opened and a blonde girl stepped into the room. "Girl's bathroom? Yeah, that's where you belong, homo."

"Kayla." Nick growled. "It was you, right? Have you told everyone?"

"You can bet. It was a lovely story, I couldn't just keep it to myself. It's just a pity that you missed the reactions of the guys, but I'm positive you will see a bit of it once you move your gay ass out off the lady's room."

Nick wasn't able to think about a proper answer, but thank god he had Kurt on his side. The tall boy stepped towards his sister and glared her down. "What on earth is wrong with you? You should be proud of your brother and be there for him!"

"I see that you don't understand. How could you? You're a fag as well."

"Yeah. And I'm proud of who I am. And so Nick should be, because he is handsome, nice and smart. You, on the other side, are a brainless bitch. And guess what? While Nick and I someday will get out off here, I bet you will get pregnant and be forced to stay in Westerville for the rest of your boring, boring live. You'll get fat, your husband will cheat on you and leave you eventually. And by then, you don't even have a big brother to defend you. You can't see it now, but believe me... you will regret everything you did to him. But hey, at least you can try to get into one of these trashy reality shows. The closest thing to famous you will ever be."

Kayla stared at the older student for a moment without blinking, then she turned on her heal and left the bathroom. Nick let out a shaky breath.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked sympathetically.

"Yeah, I'm... Kurt!" Nick shook his head unbelieving and watched him with wide eyes. "Where did that came from?"

Kurt laughed softly. "To be honest, I never really liked her. And now that she proved to be the bitch of the year, I hadn't had to hold back anymore. Or... sorry, did I overstep?"

"Not at all. To be honest... I'm impressed. I was like frozen and you just... went on total bitch mode. Damn! Thank you, Kurt."

Kurt smiled proudly and winked. "It's okay. You kept the jerks from beating my ass off, so I owe you a few." The tall student gently shoved Nick out off the room. "Try to keep your head up high, okay? And when you need someone to talk, just call me. You know... I've been there, too."

…

Nick sighed as he plopped down on one of the chairs in the choir room. It has been a hell of a day. All the stares, the whispered insults, the hate... it was just too much for him to take. He wanted everyone to shut up, but they just didn't. Luckily only Crescendo rehearsal was on his schedule before he could go home. Or well, at least leave the school. Jeff took the seat next to him. Wes sat on his other side, while Kurt and Blaine sat down behind him and Brittany and Santana in his front, so he was surrounded by people who didn't judge him. Nick smiled slightly. This little gesture of his friends made him feel more loved and safe as he ever felt the whole day through.

"Hey everybody!" Glenna rushed into the room, high on energy as always. "How are you, guys? Wait, I see a new face here, do you want to join Crescendo?"

"Mh, hi... I'm Jeff." The blonde waved awkwardly. "And I'd really like to join."

"You have to audition!" Rachel jumped up and pointed at him."You can't just simply join, you have to prove that you're talented enough to be a part of this group. For nationals, we need..."

"Geez!" Santana rolled her eyes. "Can't you just shut up for once?"

"I have to agree that this isn't a nice way to welcome new members, Rachel. But still, you have a point. So, Jeff. Do you have something prepared or do you need time until the next rehearsal?"

"I have a little something, in fact." Jeff quickly walked in front of the group and pulled a disk out of his pocket. A few moments later the player was starting to play the first notes of the song. He locked his eyes with Nick and tried to make sure that he was listening.

_I can see inside of me  
would you pardon me  
and leave me standing here?  
What do you want from me?  
Because all I've got are  
voices in my head _

_Now it's starting once again..._

Jeff pulled on his hair in a frustrated way before he changed into the chorus

_Silence! They won't stop talking  
Am I strong enough to ignore them?  
Silence is all I wanted  
Always safes me when I feel like falling_

He noticed Nick's eyes go wide at the lyrics.

_I'll show you everything  
take my hand so you won't  
get lost on the way _

_Simultaneously  
We will dive into a cave  
so deep no one else will ever see  
the truth of me _

_Now it's starting once again  
Welcome to my world it's all I own _

_Silence! They won't stop talking  
Am I strong enough to ignore them?  
Silence is all I wanted  
Always safes me when I feel like falling _

Jeff shook his head and watched each member of Crescendo intensely, each eye contact pretty short, but he could read a lot out of them. He saw people impressed, surprised or skeptical. And he saw... Nick. Nick, who just seemed to be totally astonished. Wes put a hand on his best friend's shoulder and squeezed it as Jeff turned away and started the bridge.

T_his is going nowhere  
This is far too much  
for my heart to take it  
sometimes I'm losing touch  
With this world I'm living in  
but I keep on fighting  
to be the one I've been before  
to be me again_

This is going nowhere  
This is far too much  
for my heart to take it  
sometimes I'm losing touch  
With this world I'm living in  
this is far too much for me

His voice, that hit the high notes easily turned into a low whisper as he entered the chorus for the last time, his eyes never leaving Nick.

_Silence is all I wanted  
Always safes me when I feel like falling  
Silence! They won't stop talking  
Am I strong enough to ignore them?_

Silence. That was was followed after Jeff finished his audition song. It only lasted for a few seconds before the Crescendos started to cheer and clap loudly.

"That was amazing, honey!" Glenna smiled kindly. "Welcome to Crescendo!"

"Thanks!" Jeff was about to say more as a pair of arms wrapped itself close around his neck and his face drowned in a sea of long, blonde hair.

"I'm so, so happy, Jeff!", Brittany cheered enthusiastically. "You were great."

"Thanks, Brit. I'm happy, too." Jeff let his cousin take his hand and guide him back to his place. He sat slowly next to Nick.

Santana turned around and kissed him on the cheek quickly. "Impressive, Sterling!"

Jeff licked his lips and smiled, turning his head to Nick, who hadn't said a word up to now.

The brunette smiled back at him. "Thank you, Jeff!" His voice was suspiciously shaky. He didn't need to ask why Jeff picked a song that fit his situation so well, he could read everything in the other boy's eyes.

"Always."

**TBC**

**I love Kurt when he's on bitch-mode. What do you think?**

**I love you, people, thanks for reading! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter was meant to be online yesterday, but... I don't know if anyone is interested, but I just have to tell you... my boyfriend proposed. And I really, really didn't see that coming. Yaaay! I'm so incredibly happy, people! And I can't seem to shut up about it, I'm sorry.  
But yeah... that was why I had other things in my mind than updating my stories. And this is also the reason that the chapter again is shorter as I planned it to be.  
I still kinda like this chapter, I hope you do too! ;)**

"What are you doing, San?"

Santana looked up from the paper she was writing on as Wes joined her at the kitchen table of Brittany's home.

The whole group was there again. It wasn't arranged in any way, it simply felt natural for everybody to drive over to Brittany after school. It seemed like they'd become even closer after what happened to Nick. For all of them, who weren't really close with their families – and to be honest, nobody really was. Wes loved his mother, sure, but he was far away from living the American dream at home. Well, for all of them, it was as if they finally found the people they really belonged to. Their real family.

"I'm making a list."

Wes tilted his head in curiosity. "What about?"

"Let's say... people who don't deserve to walk under the light of the sun." The Latina smirked darkly and pushed the paper to Wes.

Said boy chuckled. "I just love when you switch to bitch mode. Let me see!" His eyes darted over the list, and he began to read out loud with amused voice.

"_Rachel Berry – I'm absolutely sure that when she dies one day, I have to murder her mouth a second time until she finally shuts up._

_Noah Puckerman – The bastard still has pictures that are showing me naked. On the other hand, I look awesome, so how could he harm me? Maybe I'll safe him for now. -_ I really didn't want to know that, Santana! " Wes shook his head and snorted before he continued reading.

"_Finn Hudson – Come on, he isn't a man. And I think he never will be. I would laugh if it wasn't such a shame. _

_Lilian Redclive – Nobody steals my lipstick. That's unhygienic, come on!_

_Rachel Berry – Just because one time isn't enough._

_The Duval family – How do they dare to handle Nick like that? I'll make sure that karma won't miss them._

_Kendall Masters– Slushying Nick? Not the best idea, asshole. You just signed your death note._

_Kayla Duval – Nobody, nobody deserves a punishment more than her. Nobody. I think I'll... _You think you'll do what, San?"

"That was right when you interrupted me," the girl explained. "I will find a way to let her pay for everything, Wes. I swear that I will!" Her eyes sparkled darkly.

"Whoa!" Wes flinched back. "Remember me never to fight against you, Satan. You're scary."

"Come on. You're a fucking Ninja!" Santana rolled her eyes. "You're surely able to defend yourself."

"That's a stereotype!" Wes smirked. "But I can't deny that I have a few... skills that might help in some situations. And when you track down that bitch, I'm totally with you."

"I hoped so." Santana's face lit up. "I mean, I'm amazing and I could totally get her on my own, but I prefer some evil, wicked Westana action. The old partners in crime, finally united again."

"I'm touched!" Wes wiped an imaginary tear out of the corner of his eye. "Let me hear how far you got, Satan!"

…

Nick enjoyed the cold water on his skin. It was about time that he took advantage of the pool in the garden. The whole day long he'd felt as if he couldn't held the weight on his shoulders any longer, so now it was a huge relieve to float around without gravity.

"Mind if I join you?"

He turned around to see Jeff, a towel in his hand and just dressed in swimming shorts. Unable to tear his eyes away, he nodded.

"So you do?"

"What? I... no. Of course you can join me. I mean, it's more your house than mine. I mean, it isn't my house at all, and I'll make sure that I pay up for everything. Not that I want you to pay for me. I'll see if I can find another place..."

"Nick!" Jeff jumped into the water and swam towards the brunette. He stopped when their bodies were only inches apart and covered Nick's mouth with his hand. "Shut up. For now, it is your home as well. And don't worry so much. I love to have you here, and I know for sure that Brittany and Santana do as well. And when Brittany's parents return – oh, forget about them. They won't mind as long as Brit is happy. And they are barely at home. Maybe twice a month, why do you think Santana has settled over?"

Nick's cheeks were deep red. Jeff had never looked so... hot. The way his wet bangs stuck against his forehead... and the fact that he had a nice view at his bare chest. The boy was bigger than him after all, and the water wasn't that deep. And all the things he said... Jeff pulled his hand away and smiled. Geez, this smile... who on earth could smile like that? And... who could watch this smile without being affected? Before Nick could even think of what he did, he leaned forwards and kissed Jeff on the lips. The blonde stiffed for a split second before he kissed him back. It was Nick who ended the kiss and suddenly turned ghostly pale.

"I'm sorry. Oh god, I'm so sorry, Jeff. I have no idea what I was thinking. I don't know why I did that. I... I'm sorry!" He let himself sink under the water. In this moment, he just wanted to die. Far too soon he felt two hands that pulled him upwards until his head broke through the water's surface.

"Don't be!", Jeff told him as soon as he could open his eyes and breathe properly again. "I'm not angry, I... to be honest, I liked it very much." Now it was Jeff's time to blush.

"But I don't know what that means!" Nick whispered brokenly. "I'm scared."

"I know. And I won't put any pressure on you, I promise. When you kissed me, I felt trusted, and that was such an awesome feeling. I was surprised, well, of course, but in a good way. Take the time you need, Nick. I would suggest that we just wait and see what will happen."

"You mean... it don't have to be awkward now?"

"Of course not." Jeff laughed and hugged the stunned boy quickly. As he let him free, he locked eyes with him and turned more serious. "What I originally came for, was to ask how you're holding up."

"It's okay." Nick locked away. "You've already done so much."

"As long as you're unhappy, it's not enough."

"But it's so complicated." Nick swam to the edge of the pool and pushed himself out of the water. He wrapped his towel around his body and sat on a bench. Jeff copied his actions and sat down besides him, so close that their arms touched slightly.

When Nick finally started to explain, his voice was small. "I know I should feel something, but I'm kinda numb. Because I'm scared that when I let the feelings come down on me, I will explode, because there are so many things I should feel. I'm scared that I cannot stand it. I'm scared that I will break."

"But you are around people who love you, Nick. I know that I don't really belong here by now, but I saw how you guys act around each other. I never saw people who cared so much about each other before I met you guys. So when you would break down, everybody would be there for you. But when you keep it all to you, you could break one day in public. And it will happen some day, Nick. Believe me."

"Oh god." Nick squeezed his eyes shot. "Please, don't talk to me like that. I can't... not right now."

"Sorry." Jeff looked down embarrassed.

"Hey, Jeff!" Nick waited until the blonde boy met his eyes again. "You belong right here. When anything would happen to you, all of them would care about you. And... so would I." He grimaced. "See? Now it's kinda awkward."

"Right," Jeff agreed, face deeply red. " But still I like it somehow."

"Yeah. And we have to talk about it sooner or later. But not right now. It's too much to think about right now."

"Just tell me when you're ready," Jeff replied softly.

Nick nodded and got up. Before he walked into the house, he threw Jeff a last glance. "Thanks, Jeff. You know, just... thanks."

There was more to say, so much more. But for now, it had to be enough.

…

Kayla Duval wasn't one of the best students at Westerville High, but it didn't matter. She was pretty, and the most people liked a pretty face much more than smartness and character. She was always surrounded by other cheerleaders, football players or people, who simply hoped to get a better reputation when they were seen with her. She wouldn't be an easy target.

On the other hand, there would be many people to witness her downfall. It would be wonderful to watch.

Sadly Wes insisted ton keeping their actions legal, so he had turned down many of Santana's ideas. Santana and Wes had been discussing for almost a complete hour when they finally got an idea which they both liked.

"Always a pleasure working with you, Mr. Montgomery." Santana blew her friend a kiss.

"The pleasure is mine. You're just as evil as you are beautiful." "And you are sure that you can get everything until tomorrow?"

"Absolutely. Just meet me in the parking lot before school. The rest is in your hands."

They grinned and hugged each other, before Wes left to went home. Santana pulled out her phone. There were a few calls that needed to be made.

…

"I hate the way they're staring at me," Nick whispered through his teeth as they walked into the cafeteria. "It's that how all the animals in the zoo feel like? Then I'll never visit one of these places again!"

Jeff smiled reassuringly. "You're stronger than that, Nick. Come on, let's sit with Brit, Santana and Wes." They joined their friends at the table. "Why are you smirking like that?", Jeff asked confused. He didn't really know Wes that well, but he knew Santana well enough to know that this kind of smile never meant anything good.

"Just wait and see!" Wes grinned wickedly.

Jeff raised a brow and looked at Nick, but the brunette only shrugged. "I have no idea!", he admitted quietly.

The friends started eating their lunch, but Wes and Santana seemed to wait for something all the time. After a few minutes, Wes snorted. "So, let the show begin." He got up and left the table.

"San?", Nick asked. "Should I be worried?"

"Never mind, honey. Just watch and enjoy the show."

"You know, now I'm really scared!" Nick shook his head and turned to his food again, but curiosity took the best over him, so he glanced at Wes every now and then to make sure that he wouldn't be missing anything.

Wes walked through the cafeteria, grabbed an orange juice and opened the bottle while he turned back again. He slowly walked over to their table, a wicked grin on his lips. Nick's brows furrowed as he noticed that the Asian was walking close to the cheerleader's and jock's table... very close... too close! His left foot got stuck in the strap of a bag, causing the boy to fall. The bottle flew out of his hand and – oh mystic fortune – poured out the complete liquid all over Kayla Duval. Nick chuckled and turned to Santana. "Come on, really?"

"It's not over yet, honey!" The girl pointed at Wes, and Nick concentrated of what was happening at the table again. Kayla was obviously furious, she was yelling at Wes in a way that could almost compete with Santana when she got in Lima Heights rage. The complete attention was on her, so at first nobody noticed Kendall, who'd gotten up to pick up all the stuff that fell out of Kayla's bag. He returned one item after another back into the bag, but suddenly his face lost all color.

"Kayla?" he demanded, but the blonde girl wasn't listening to him. He tried it again for a couple more times, until he lost his patience. "Damn, Kayla!", he yelled. Everybody turned to observe him, but he didn't seem to notice at all. He only had eyes for Kayla. "What's that?"

**TBC**

**Ha! Westana are on fire... Do you like it so far? Let me know what you think!**


End file.
